Newly elected President Donald J Blumpf Drumpf Rumpf begins his move to the Oval Office this week by ordering the immediate uninstallation of all LGBTQIALMNOP+ military personnel of marginalized sexual delusions. This move is projected to push shortages among the ranks at least six months ahead of schedule according to experts in the field.
MAYHEM IN THE OFFICERS HALL – Pvt Pat McCrotch gives CSN an exclusive report: “I was delivering the quartely shipment of adopted boys to the Officers club as usual when I came upon the scene of HORRENDOUS violence. Blood sprayed across the walls, incredibly large pairs of high-heels strewn about haphazardly… They were gone, just all gone- Lieutenant Marsha, Admiral Jewels RosenShwartz, just deleted by that Monster.”
Pretend woman presumed dead, 79. Heartfelt condolences go out to local swingers community